HE LOVES ME, I LOVE HIM NOT.

Fisayo Talabi

It’s August. Taiye is coming to Lagos tomorrow. I have just graduated, and awaiting my call up letter for NYSC. I could not say for certain, which particular emotion engulfed my heart. I just recall that I felt so much of a mixture of Love, anxiety, fear, and a certain uncertainty.

The last time I had seen Taiye, was on Skype, four nights ago. My Taiye was a handsome young man, quite alright, and  he worked as a Senior Internal Auditor in an Audit Firm in Luton, England. He had been in the UK for many years, though he studied for his first degree in Accounting in Nigeria. We met for the first time, three years ago, and our relationship was above a year now. When he comes home, it will be two years.

I had been online, replying Gloria’s message on my Facebook wall, when I saw a friend request pending. Taiye Beyioku. I clicked on the request. It was probably one of the many guys that had nothing better to do, than browse for pretty girls online. I was about deleting his friend request when his picture caught my eye. Now this was a Hunk! He had this smile that was worth billions, and the first thing I fell in love with was his blue bow tie, gently holding the collar of his John Fracombe shirt. Trust me, I know designers by merely looking at what you wear (though he later told me it was actually a John Fracombe when we started chatting.)  I accepted his request, and then, my life just got happier. We started chatting, and commenting on each other’s pictures, chatting on yahoo messenger, and when I got my Blackberry, it just made things a lot easier for us. We talked on Skype too, and every day, by 10PM, I turned on my Laptop religiously, to see his face on the screen.

Well, he started getting jealous first when I put up an old friend as my display picture on BBM. He said words like “i really did not know you had a boyfriend.”, “Maybe I should leave you to chat with your boyfriend.” You know how it goes. The feelings were already in the air, and it was obvious he was already deep with me. He asked me out, and yea, I know it seemed like a crazy idea, but I said yes. I had never seen my boyfriend face to face, but I knew he would be home soon, and we would make up physically for what we were limited to electronically.

I turned twenty four in July, and my mother was already breathing down my neck on bringing home a man. I really did not think telling her that I had a boyfriend whom I had never seen, was such a good idea. Even Gloria thought so too. She was the only friend I told about my internet boyfriend; because she was the only one I trusted as good enough, from all my other ‘eye-service’ friends. She was in London, for her Master’s Degree, and I thought it would not be a bad idea if she hooked up with Taiye, on one of her free days. However, she never had the time to. He had been bugging me already that he wanted to meet my friends. I remember that there was this huge fight we had last December. He had wanted to speak with my mother, but I did not let him. He had said I was ashamed of him, and I did not love him enough to introduce him to my family, and that I was probably thinking he was not serious with me. I have spoken with his twin brother, Kehinde, on different occasions. Kehinde worked in Abuja as an Events Planner so he was always busy, and we could not exactly see as often as Taiye wanted, due to circumstance.

Kehinde called just as I finished my last examination. I had not even seen his missed calls, because all my classmates were shouting, and screaming at the top of their lungs, in the Faculty basement. It was our tradition. Great Ife. We customised t shirts, and danced round the whole school, in celebration of the Genesis and Revelation of our five years as Civil Engineering students! The blast of D’banj’s “mo bo lowo won” overpowered my ring tone so I couldn’t hear my phone ring. He said he was coming to Ife to see me.

My heart pounded stubbornly, despite how I tried to make it cool down. It seemed it was going to jump right out of my chest! I was looking at this guy who was my boyfriend’s twin brother. My God, they were so identical! He had the same smile I saw on Taiye. For a minute I wished this was Taiye, so I could hug and kiss him as much as I longed to. I sat in his car seat, my mouth wide open but no words could make headway. Kehinde Beyioku just proposed to me on behalf of his brother. Where was this ever done?!

I have been wearing that beautiful ring on my finger, and Kehinde has been calling me over the phone very often. Lucky me; I had a very nice brother in law already.

At 4.30PM yesterday, Kehinde called me that he was on his way to the airport to wait for Taiye’s flight to land, so he could pick him up. They would come together to see me tomorrow, on the next flight to Lagos. I knew that my mother was suspecting something. She had seen my ring and had asked me who the lucky rich man was. I only laughed and told her that he would be coming soon.

Tomorrow has become today.

I’m sitting in a Red cab. I can’t hear what is on radio, even if it is on that funny Station where they speak Pidgin English. My heart is screaming so loud that my ears are blocked. I’m anxious. What will it be like finally seeing him? Just then, it occurred to me that I would be seeing both twin brothers——both identical twin brothers. Differentiating them would definitely not be a problem. If I couldn’t, at least Taiye would identify me.

There is a smile on my face as I stare at both Beyioku men. I can recognise Kehinde; after all, what woman would forget the face of the man that proposed to her? Taiye is standing tall, smiling at me, but I can’t really hug him as I thought I would, because he is standing with the support of his crutches. I was searching for his left leg but I could not find it. It just occurred to my brain to tell my eyes to shift gaze from his trousers, because it was rude. My boyfriend had just one leg. He was still smiling, and it seemed the plastic smile on my face just would not change. I eventually told my mother that my boyfriend was coming to see her from UK, and she had started preparing Lunch. What would I say to her now? I could not possibly take Taiye home. As we walked to the cab, I watched as he tried to walk. This was way too much for me.

“Don’t you think my Fiancée is looking smashing today?” he said in a British accent, to the cab man. Oh yea, he was proud of me, but I was proud of him NOT. Couldn’t I exchange Taiye for Kehinde? At least, it had been Kehinde who proposed to me.

Fisayo Talabi.